On Inertia

     I think I fear the activities I love the most. 

    You would think I hate painting, playing violin, sewing, reading, painting and journaling by the fervor with which I avoid them, and the carousel of excuses I find each night to keep myself from starting them. Instead, I often end my nights by watching an old movie or playing a video game. I don’t think these are bad activities, I just find them less enjoyable as my hobbies. They usually take up only 30% of my brain while the rest of my brain worries, “what I am going to eat tomorrow” and “should I get a skirt like the one the girl in the show is wearing?” I think I am drawn to screen activities because it seems like something an adult should do to relax, and because they are easy to get started. My hobbies are the ones I rarely do, but when I do, I always think, “I should do this more”.

I have a theory on why the eye of my attention slides over the activities that truly bring me joy;

1- They are hard to start

2- They are hard to stop 

The activities I love take a certain level of energy to get started. Seen from a distance, these starting tasks don’t seem all that intensive, but from the couch it seems like an insurmountable barrier; Getting out paint and brush and a canvas. Taking out the violin, tuning it, tightening the bow. Getting out a journal and pen and thinking about my problems. Choosing a book then taking the 10-15 minutes to become immersed in the world. 

I often find myself thinking, “The effort of starting that activity is too much right now.” Which is a weird belief to have, because I have never started a hobby and regretted it. 

The other false assumption I make is that, “if I take the time to get started on this hobby, I have to do it for enough time that it will be worth the effort of getting it out,” which means an automatic commitment of at least an hour. From the couch that amount of time is overwhelming.

Once you get over the hurdle of starting something you love, you come to the next hurdle, stopping something you love. Which for me is the hardest part. Because “I’m having so much fun I don’t know if I will ever feel this way again” or, “I went through all the work of getting something out I may as well finish it,” which often leaves me up at 3 am on a work night and swearing off ever starting to start reading at 9:00 PM. 

My difficulty stopping a project adds to my hesitation to start one. I know I have a hard time stopping. If I have a limited time, my internal monologue tells me to do something I don’t care about, like watch a movie, because it will be easier to turn off. 

I think the solution to my struggle with starting and stopping projects is counterintuitive to the normal art advice. I am going to give myself less time for art, and stop whenever I want. It can be as little as 15 minutes, but starting something I love and stopping shortly after is better than never doing it at all. I have been enjoying this mission so far this month. I painted the following still life with barely any prep. I took 20 minutes before work one morning to sketch with pencil and paper on the patio. I have left my violin out so I can just pick it up and play a couple songs then put it back down. Amazingly, trying to do hobbies for a shorter amount of time has made me do my hobbies so much more often. More art coming soon, but for now enjoy this still life straight from our kitchen: